This, this, this?? or that? - or all of it.. or just some of it????

Obviously I am still frigging confused.

My last post sounded decisive. There was a very good plan... very good reasons.... but yeah, as you probably gathered - I was writing it all to try and convince myself.

It hasn't happened yet.

I haven't let go of anything... I have even employed a new person (Reece) - and am negotiating with another teacher.

It just seems wrong to stop my classes which are bringing in the bread-and-butter. My bookings keep increasing.. it works, people enjoy them - and PAY ME MONEY! It just seems so wrong to stop them.. I can't make myself do it - despite knowing that I have so much other areas of the business that I could focus my energies on - ways that are 'probably' smarter for growth...and definitely more user friendly to me and how I can use my time.

The biggest problem at the moment is that I am too busy and so exhausted to be able to think properly.

I feel as though I only ever have two modes: hyper-full-on action mode (which can achieve so much..but wears me out before too long), or complete exhausted/quivering-in-a-heap-on-the-floor mode.

I have been trying SO hard to get some sort of 'balance' in my life.. to slow down... to work smarter not harder. I think I am succeeding in that goal with baby-steps... but things can throw me way out of whack - and when I'm too tired, I doubt everything.

Today I went to the Dr for the second time in 10 days - because I am having trouble sleeping - and it feels like it is killing me!!! - When I first went to him ten days ago it was because I was at the end of my tether after a month of sleeping very badly.. I had been trying everything I could possibly try to get myself into a better sleep routine... Things are not much better. I have sleeping tablets... they have been working a bit... but I am operating at complete 'wreck' status :(

I guess as I am writing this - I know the answer for me.. for now...

For all the reasons why I could/should/would like to change the direction of my business.... as much as I know I have too much on my plate and would probably be better off focusing on 1 or 2 areas, rather than them all at once... I can see that there is a slim chance that I am getting to the point where it may get a little bit easier... where the multiple directions that I have been travelling in may be coming together and starting to work out as planned.

For those of you that don't know, here is the 'complicated mess' that I have created with my business:
 - ART CLASSES - for school-aged children, kindy-children and adults... The children's classes are working very well - with more marketing they would definitely grow...
- SELLING ART MATERIALS (online shop is SLOWLY being built - and I made a mistake a while ago of sinking in a fair bit of money into products that are sitting on the shelves! - I SO need to sell them and bring some money back in!) - I lack confidence in selling.. but am pretty sure that this side of the business will prove to be quite lucrative when running properly.
- KITS - I so want/need to make these!!! My art and craft activities that I do in classes are great and it makes a lot of sense to be able to package and sell these to a much broader market... but I just have not had the time to get them off the ground... I have a few shops/cafes etc. wanting them, and others willing to sell them - just haven't had enough time!
- BIRTHDAY PARTIES - these link in with everything... I have hosted a couple of parties at my studio last year, and a couple where I went elsewhere - they are quite fun and a good earner.. I just haven't had a chance to 'package' and market them more...
- SCREENPRINTING (and other creative hand-made products) - this is the area that I personally would like to have more fun creating, experimenting, exploring etc.. I have some great design and product ideas - but haven't had the chance to follow through with them... I enjoy running  beginner workshops in screen-printing to adults, but doing more of my products and designs - seems like it belongs in a different business plan...

My main problem and only problem really is that I am just me, and there are only so many hours in the day - and my two children (aged 5 and 2yrs) demand a LOT of that time - husband has his demands too! I can't do it all at once. I lack time, money and experience to properly 'expand' my business faster to where I believe it could go... so I am stuck taking baby-steps, and wondering if I am doing the right thing?

For now - I think I will continue with the classes - but aim to step away from them as much as possible myself. I will utilise the existing staff that I have - and also delegate to them to assist growth in the new areas that I think they are capable of helping me in - as well as doing their primary duty of running ALC classes.

I will put birthday parties and screen-printing products on the back-burner until I have got the online shop and kits part rolling along...

I need to ignore the fact that all my earnings are quickly being spent (on other's wages and other areas) - as this is a period of growth and it is a well-calculated investment.

I need better planning/scheduling/time management - and just need to keep beavering away at it.

I am doing frigging well really! - It just can so easily seem very complicated and overwhelming - especially when there is an extra bump in the road (like my current insomnia and side-effects!)

As I have been thinking for quite a long time: this is MY business, I just have to believe in myself, and have the confidence to run it MY way.. forget the should's could's etc. I am trying my best. I will make mistakes.. things will generally take a heck of a lot longer than I expect and hope... but I am well on my way - and doing well :)

Keep going. Stop and rest when I have to (like now!)... I often think about the 'tortoise and the hare' story.. and wish that I was more like the tortoise than the hare... but they were in a race with each other! - I am not racing anyone... I will make it to my 'finish-line' goals - and keep going on to the next ones too.. I'm not travelling at tortoise nor hare pace - just my own ;)

I CAN let go....!

Okay, I REALLY need to stop beating around the bush!

I have just re-read the past few posts and they are all saying and pointing to the same thing that I know... I know it. I know it.. I know it.. But it has just been so hard for me to LET GO of my art classes.

I have worked SO hard to prove that I can make my business successful. I have proven it. I have more students and classes than I can physically handle myself... So knowing that I had too much on just for me I decided to start employing other people - and that of course opened up a whole new can of worms for myself.

Employing people (at this stage) is a heck of a lot harder than just doing the classes myself!

And even if other people are teaching the classes - there is still SO much work generated by them running.. and the bottom line is that I don't want to be a slave to all of that at the moment.

There are many other things that I want to do. I have been wanting to move A Little Creative to selling art materials and developing my own products and kits for a long time now.. but I have not been able to progress with that properly whilst I have been flat out with the classes.

It is REALLY hard for me to just stop those classes. So hard. But I do know that it is the best solution... (I'm saying it... I'm writing it... I probably believe in it at least 90%...)

It is the easiest solution. (Ha! not the easiest for me to decide!) - but to stop the classes altogether (for now) is a heck of a lot easier for me than it is to continue them but with other teachers teaching them.

I really believe in the other areas of the business that I want to develop. I believe that the business can be VERY successful without any classes being run...

Ideally I want to do it all.. But I have been trying and it is just not realistic.

I still work too hard. I need to have more fun. I want to have a better focus on looking after my family and household too.

SO... what am I saying? what am I going to do?

- I will continue the current classes as is until the end of this term...
 (I have two new email requests to join my classes just today! - not sure if I will just turn them down... or let them join until the end of term??)
- I will do the school holiday workshops at Kawana Events centre (as I have been negotiating) - but I will not run any others...
- I will give myself at least 12 months to focus on the other side of my business (online-shop, art kits and products and also could be online art-curriculum) before attempting to run regular classes again ( if ever!??)
- I will still run occassional classes and probably holiday classes and birthday parties etc. - but I will have the flexibility to choose how many, when etc. and need not to get myself too busy with this side of things...
- I can soon develop my art 'programs' which can be sold online - with suggested materials! - and other teachers could 'run my programs' if they decided too - thus paying a 'wholesale-fee' for the course??? - this could be offered to Sandi?, Reece? - anyone else...
- I can still have employees if desired who do run some of the holiday classes and birthday parties... - but really organising this really needs to come second to getting the shop properly running.. and deveoping my kits and programs.
- the idea is that TIME belongs to me. I will have control of when I work and what my deadlines are etc. - instead of always having to run to external class deadlines which puts a lot of pressure on me, particularly if I or a family member is sick or out of sorts.
- I need to potter along at my own pace without too much pressure... I need to have time to do my own art too and let the creative side of me really shine and develop!!

I'm tired now... heading to bed.. will definitely re-read this soon though..

Here's another quote that is quite relevant: