Nearly six years ago I became a mother... And I soon realised
that I did NOT enjoy the new role that fell upon my shoulders to suddenly
become a “housewife”.
Yep. I hated it. I also determined that I wasn’t ‘cut-out’ to be a full-time stay-at-home-mum. But due to having left my previous job and career as a teacher (when I was bitterly ill with morning sickness), and also having held previous beliefs that I could and should be a fabulous stay-at-home-mother I battled on being a mum and being at home for years, until I was able to build my own business ALittle Creative.
By the time A Little Creative was born, I had two little ones demanding of my time and attention – and constantly creating havoc in the house.
By sheer determination, a lot of hard work and long hours (and probably a good dose of creative- insanity) I have managed to create a successful business that makes use of my creative and entrepreneurial skills – and keeps me flat-out busy!
Amongst looking after my children, husband and business – I have managed to do the minimal amount of housework possible... I keep the kitchen clean and functional, do grocery shopping, cook meals, clear-up etc. I do the clothes washing frequently... But to be honest that’s about it! – Thankfully a cleaner comes fortnightly to do the bathrooms, floors, etc. (and I spend a good hour or so before she arrives trying to clear enough space so that she can actually find the floors!)
There are SO many areas of chaos in my own home, and also in the studio – that it drives me CRAZY!! But the reality is that I just don’t have nearly enough time to do all that needs to be done. And my choices have been to choose to work on my business or doing some art rather than put away the washing, sort out a messy cupboard, or open up the pile of bills...
Finally, I am deciding to make changes. I have been telling myself for the last couple of years that I need to find more balance, I need to not do so much work... I need to look after myself more! But saying it and thinking it has not easily led to DOING it.
I have just made a VERY big decision – to say goodbye to my studio at the end of this term. By deciding to lease-out the front house on our property (which has been my art studio, and where we run A Little Creative classes) means we get some regular income to pay straight onto our mortgage and that of course relieves the pressure from myself and my husband a lot.
Fortunately I have reached the stage where A Little Creative classes are now successfully running in different locations, and with different teachers. So saying good-bye to my studio doesn’t mean that very much has to change for the business. But it means that I will pull-back from my involvement of running lots of classes, I will manage the organisation and planning side of things – and take more time to do my own art and focus on creative products, blog-posts, and just living life at a pace that suits me!
And guess what!? I am even looking forward to having time to catch up on some of the housework!
So yes, I am going to pull my head out of the “creative-business”
hole that I have been trying so hard to insert it into... and realise that I am
ME. I am a mother, a housewife, an artist and I run a small business. I will
stop being so hard on myself, and stop running around like an absolute lunatic
who can’t possibly achieve all that I put myself under. I will slow down, and
start enjoying myself more – and tackle those messy cupboards and drawers and
filing cabinets that make me want to have an anxiety attack!
The future for me is BEING A HOUSEWIFE!!! – Definitely a creative, and arty one, running a business on the side ;) But if I face the fact that I CAN’T do it all – and acknowledge that part of my chosen role is to be a housewife - rather than just running away and avoiding all those duties.. I think I will find the balance that I have been craving, and enjoy myself a lot more every day!
UPDATE!! (26/06/14)
Okay, so I didn't do that at all!! - I decided NOT to move out of my studio - instead, I am keeping things running as they were with A Little Creative... but trying to separate my WORK a bit more from invading upon everything else in my life... I am trying to shift the focus more to my own artwork, and achieving a better balance with my life - but NOT by closing the door on ALC or stopping or making too many drastic changes to my business...More of a slower step away, and psychological shift more than anything!
And as for focussing more eagerly on my housework: what was I thinking!??? (maybe I was drunk?)
