Letting life be...

I'll be the first to admit that motherhood is very hard for me!
I am a person who likes to control things, I guess. I like there to be a structure, I like to be busy and creative, and I also desperately need time on my own: time to think, reflect, just re-centre myself I guess...
I am also naturally an evening person.. so young children awaking bounding with energy at the crack of dawn (or earlier) is still pretty darn hard for me to adjust to - even 5 years on...

Right now it is the school holidays.. and although I LOVE the flexibility of not having to get everyone ready and out the door (dressed, clean and with bags and lunch-boxes packed) by a set  time... I HATE not getting to do any work!!

It has been said that I am a 'work-aholic'... I don't think I am ... but oh gee, I do WANT to work.. and the tiny little amount of time that I get each week to do some work and try to run my business, really is never enough...

But I know I just have to go with the flow. I'm not very good at it... But I am slowly learning..

Going out for a nice nature walk with the family.

I was pulling my hair-out almost for the past few hours as I desperately wanted my 3 year-old to have a nap at the 'right' time.. If he had gone to sleep at any time between 1pm and 3pm that would have been ideal - as Tilly was doing an art class, and I could have had a small amount of time to myself - to work!, or just relax even...

But no. All my efforts and frustrations did not lead to any zzzz's from Curtis.

Curtis: I love him so much!, though he is always exhausting!!

Now though, my two kids are naturally and very happily playing together! - I was about to whisk them off out to the supermarket, or try to control their activities.. but fortunately I took a step back, watched and listened - and realised - these two are having fun, they don't want or need mummy right now, so I should let them be!! (yay me!)

So I've had a few minutes to sit down and write... and now, hmmm.. I might just go into the kitchen and clear out the fridge (fun - not! - but something I've been needing/wanting to do).

Tilly and Curtis playing outside the front entrance right now...

Yes, there are quite a few urgent work emails and other tasks that I could start to do... But I just really can't be bothered... And that's good of me to let them lie I reckon..

My business is awesome, and I am amazing for all that I do, and try to do... But my number 1 goal is to somehow find more balance. And in my order of priorities and values: my family comes first, looking after ME is a close second, and my business (although it means a LOT to me) comes third.

And the best way, and only way that I can really succeed is simply to go with the flow and let life be as it will be...

xoxo