Life has been quite difficult lately - and that's putting it mildly really.
I tend to have a bit of an all or nothing approach to life... I am a strong person who can cope with a lot, and I tend to keep going until I hit a big brick wall.
I think I hit my 'brick-wall' last Monday.. each day since then has been quite hard. Some moments are good, some I feel fine... but they seem to be heading towards the minority rather than the majority... I have to make the most of the moments that are good and happy - saviour them, and know that if anyone can turn things around quick it is me... I do believe in myself (most of the time) - and I know I will make it...
I have quite a long history with Depression... And by Wednesday I knew I was not at all feeling good so I made a Dr's appointment for the next day... I walked out of the Dr's office with a new perscription for Zoloft, a referral to a psychologist and a bandaid on my arm after lots of blood was drawn to check for half a dozen other things.
It's what I wanted I guess. It's what I knew.
Friday I got the prescription filled at the chemist.. but I haven't taken a tablet yet.. I definately will if it's inevitable that I need them... but I am wanting to take a few more days to see how I go...
It's disappointing to be in this place again. I can see why. I can see that it has been triggered by a range of stressful circumstances, and then having a few weeks of being ill with a bad cold has pushed me to the limit.
I hope this week is much better. I hope I can avoid getting any worse. I hate depression, it sucks. It makes me doubt everything and not believe in myself - it makes me not be me.
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