"I'm going to be an architect... and a darn good one!"

It was about 13 years ago (too long ago!) when I said those words to the Dean of Architecture at UQ - in an attempt to convince him to let me stay in the course... Unfortunately, before much longer I was in tears as I realised that nothing I could say was going to make any difference.. I was just a number in the system that was not letting me continue with my architecture degree.

I can look back at all of that with a lot of regret. Able to see where I made my mistakes: a lack of self confidence after being quite ill was my biggest fault... And when that boulder was placed on the road of my chosen career path I decided to explore other options and went off along a completely different path which led to my teaching degree...

Hmmm. More dot, dot, dots required here...... About 13 years worth!

At the start of this year I got thinking about architecture again. Wondering if I should perhaps pursue that path again? Wishing I had never gotten off it...

I decided the timing wasn't right - with two very young children I don't have the time to focus on studies - let alone travel to Brisbane for the course.. So after a few serious weeks of considering it I pushed the idea away.

Currently we are building a new house which I essentially designed for us - I am so enjoying being able to witness the whole building process taking place in our backyard, and I am very proud of my input into the project. I though that it might satisfy my architectural urges to see my design become reality - but really it has just wet my appetite and made me open my eyes to what I really do want to do.

No more excuses. No more denying it. I would love to be an architect. I wish I had never let circumstances take me of track. I wish I already was an architect. I know I could be a f*#ing good architect... And I still can be! I like to believe that it is "never too late" to do something... But stupid me just never wanted to look at 'the one that got away' - and consider going after it again! I think a part of me was just licking my wounds perhaps... or trying to keep my mind and goals busy in every other direction... But when I look at architecture as a career - I cannot deny that it is what I want.

It's not too late. I don't have to be afraid, scared, etc. (is it okay to be emotional?? - because I am!) I'm just going to face what I want and go for it!

Fair enough, the timing is not right now.. but in a few years it can be.

I don't want to lose sight or get distracted again. No. I'm facing it and making the commitment to me that I do want to be an architect, and I WILL do it.

Probably a few years away until I can commit to full-time study again.. in the meantime I am going to enjoy and make the most of my time as a mum of young children. And also pursue my short-term goals of starting up a creative studio and business. But I know what I want for the future...

So much to look forward to! I am happy :) Thanks Ben for supporting my talent and personal goals and for helping me to see what I had pushed out of my mind!