learning to ride slower...

Frustratingly I have been unable to sleep well this week... I am dog-tired in the day.. somehow I make it through to the evening and gets the kids off to sleep...I am shattered, but decide I deserve to watch TV.. and then when my show ends - I am AWAKE and quite unable to go to sleep.

Last night I was quite awake until at least 2am.

No real drama if you don't have kids... but with my Curtis alarm clock waking me every day around 5:30am with boundless energy - it is not a very good situation to be in!

So what is turning me into an insomniac lately? Hmmm... probably me and my mind, and the pressures I put myself under.

This past week was ideally my 'deadline' for getting all my new class information out and properly organised for School Holiday classes and Term 2. Ideally I wanted it all out by the start of the week.. then I gave myself until the end of the week... now I have pushed it until Tuesday... and I am quite disappointed with myself!...

It was only through talking about it with Ben and getting all teary that I realize that the one 'thing' of me not getting that info out when I wanted to - is actually a trigger point in my mind to a huge well of thoughts and emotions about my business...

I am like a pressure-cooker - keeping it all inside - but when one 'stress' emerges, they are all bubbling and festering beneath.


This 'time off' (taking the first Term to not run any classes and have a bit of a break, and ideally get myself re-organised and properly on track for the year) has gone by way too fast!! And to be honest I am scared to face a new term and load more onto my plate..

'Just being a mum' is exhausting and is definitely a full-time job... Then A Little Creative is a MASSIVE work-load on top of that. Last year I was completely un-balanced with my work/life - and I burnt myself out and paid the consequences..

Now I have taken a (brief) break... and indeed I have started to do less, to look after me, to do all the other things I want to do.... but nowhere near enough! - There really is NEVER enough time to do all that is in my head and on my to-do list...

But I should pat myself on the back for realising that I need to slow down.. and for learning how to do so.

I am nowhere near being 'in balance'... and according to most mums - it seesm to be a goal that very few of us are able to achieve!

But I am trying, I am adjusting... and everyday I have to remind myself to just be me... that I can't do it all... and what I am doing is plenty good enough.


I am reminded of this quote:


And I totally agree... and as we all know it is MUCH harder to ride slowly at a steady pace and keep your balance... But this is what I must do, rather than continue to ride at full-speed and keep falling off with disastrous results!

xo