To be honest, as a 38 year old woman I am still trying to figure myself out! - as a mum, even more so!! But one thing is for sure, I know that I am quite different to a heck of a lot of other people... Different in a good way, I think... but definitely a far way away from 'normal'.
Somewhere along the line (in my naive youth?) I must have assumed that by this age - I would have figured enough things out about myself and my life... I think I expected that I would "know where I was headed" and definitely be "on track" - if not having had arrived "there" already!
But the reality is that my life is not quite like that! Lots of things have definitely not gone to plan...
I imagine now that you probably never quite "get there". Life is a journey - completely full of lots of ups and downs.
In many respects I have already achieved so much. I have so much. I am happy, I am proud... and then also (almost at the same time) I have lots of doubts, fears, worries...
I think they are just normal. The doubts and fears show that I am still trying new things and am aware that nothing is easy: life rarely goes quite to plan.
I do believe in myself - and that is the most important thing possible. I believe in myself, I have respect for myself. If I make a mistake I will learn from it and keep on trying.
At times I fear that maybe I am "on the wrong track" or being blinded by my own habits and tendencies from seeing what perhaps is a more obvious or logical solution...
But I guess I just have to remember that I am just me. There are no friggin 'rights' or 'wrongs' and life definitely isn't a race. If I take twice as long as someone else might to get where I'm headed, or go about it in a round-about way - then that is just MY journey and how I chose to travel it.
I think I am doing alright. :)
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