Hmmm where do I start??
I guess the best news is that I have finally started... Today my daughter T is in care.. She has started attending a new Family Day Care place two days a week, and I know that it is a very good place and that she will be happy there in a small environment with a great carer, Jenny, and three other young children much the same age. She has been in care before - so I have suffered through the settling in periods, it is familiar having her cling to me and cry when she realises where we have arrived and that this is the place where mummy leaves her. I know that she calms down only a few minutes after I have left and ends up having a great time. I know intellectually that it is great for her and me - especially me - because without some time to myself I seriously go stir-crazy. But that doesn't stop me feeling GUILTY!!!!
I tend to go a bit frantic and anxious when I suddenly have time to myself... I have to remain calm, know that this time is going to be great in the long run, once I get myself into a routine. So many times I have gone quite 'psycho' when I get a few hours - not knowing where to start if I am trying to do something fun and creative for me. Or having a mile-long list of chores that are all no fun at all and cannot have any hope of being achieved in the time available.
Really, I have to take some time just to'chill'. To organise my head and heart. Hopefully this blog will be able to ground me and keep me on track... Hopefully it can give me some pleasure and satisfaction too. I can share my feelings both good and bad. I can share some pics - and hopefully start once again to switch on my 'photographic eye' which seems like it has been shut down for a while - except for endless 'happy-snaps' of my beautiful daughter... who is yet to learn to look at the camera when I want her to!
Yep this site is for me. For my sanity, for my pleasure... to keep track of my own life and hopefully be a record of the art and craft things that I am desperate to get into.. but feel so frustrated that I never seem to have the time. I have to realise that it must all start slowly, bit by bit.
This blog-site is all about me - and I hope that other mums will find it and enjoy reading it too. I hope that I may be able to connect with other like-minded parents in this cyber-space world and both them and I can feel like we are not alone.
Gotto go, and tackle some chores (massive pile of ironing today, plus a desperate need for grocery shopping!) and hopefully find time to start my shell collages too..
Love Lindy xo
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