I'm feeling good and calm today... after having a major realisation yesterday that I DO NOT HAVE TO WORK to feel like a worthwhile person!!!! (Er duh!)
Seriously, I have struggled severely with my identity as a Stay-at-home-Mum (SAHM). Since the age of 15 I have worked and worked darn hard to always be independent... I have been prepared to take risks too to start up my own businesses - and really feel comfortable that I can earn money whether I am an employee or doing work off my own bat...
I am an ideas person - it is very, very hard for me to shut my brain down.. Every other day I come up with a 'new' business idea or product or invention (many of them quite brilliant! - all of them really quite unachievable at this stage in my life!).. my mind does drive me crazy.. usually I latch onto one of the ideas and try to focus on that..
Now I have realised I don't have to! I don't need to. the best thing I can do is focus what I already am doing!: focus on my family, my kids and being a mother...
I AM working darn bloody hard as a mum of two young children. I am working harder than I have ever worked before - though unfortunately there is no pay-check at the end of the week, and not much external appreciation and recognition (perhaps?)... No really it was the internal recognition that wasn't there! I can't blame anyone else but myself - I didn't fully get it and recognise my own achievements!
I've been so tired and working so hard to do all that a great mum needs to do to look after a 2 year old and a baby, and a husband and a household! - That I have never taken the time to give myself the recognition that I deserve. To value what I am doing, to celebrate myself and realise that what I am doing is pretty good!
It's time for me to look around and really start enjoying this forest that I am walking through. There is so much beauty to see and experience every step of the way - and right now I have the hands of my two beautiful children to hold. I need to enjoy every moment of it whilst I can!
(Yes, I have become a bit teary! But that's okay!)
Hello L,
ReplyDeleteYes! Don't be too hard on yourself, and I think you should definatley be proud of what you do as a stay at home mum! It must be very hard and constricting! I think you should just try and do little things for yourself whenever you can - start small to begin with and then once the kids get a bit bigger you will have time to expand these ideas into something bigger :)
Lindy, I know exactly where you are. I'll email you.
ReplyDelete