Oh what a night...

So, the reality is I am getting older...

I have just had my 38th birthday, which also coincided with it being 20 years since finishing high-school!

A Facebook group was formed at the start of the year, and a 20 year reunion was planned for Saturday October 26th at the Royal in Mornington.

A couple of months leading up to the reunion it was quite up in the air whether I would attend or not.. I had definitely wanted to, and had already purchased a ticket... but with plans to sign up for a shop lease I was going to have to give it a miss I thought..

When the shop didn't go ahead, we then thought the whole family could travel down for a week or so break to catch up with family and friends... but it ended up that Ben's parents have bought a house in Maleny and were headed up here at the exact same time.

In the end - I travelled down to Melbourne on my own - arriving there on Thurs 24th Oct, and heading back home on Monday 28th.

ON MY OWN!!!

Wow - the reality of that was way more exciting than the whole reunion thing! - The prospect of having four whole nights to sleep on my own, to be able to pack just my own bags and not a kazillion other things for everyone else... the thought of enjoying some time to myself on the aeroplane, ready a magazine and enjoying a drink - instead of having to be action-packed ready to please and comfort a young child whose needs always come before my own... Yep, just the THOUGHT of it all was pure bliss!

But, sadly, as often can happen - the reality of my trip was not quite as I had planned and hoped... I was utterly exhausted and a bit frazzled and disorganized as I left - having not had enough time to properly organise work things as I had hoped, and as usual I was packing my things at the last minute.. I of course felt anxious about how my kids would be without me - if Curtis would really perform and be a nightmare for Ben... if Ben would be able to cope alright (and not injure the kids!) when left on his own with them for a few days. Also I had an infected toe - which just seemed to get even worse when I was away so that on Friday morning (my birthday) in melbourne instead of heading out into the city and wandering the galleries and cafes and shops as i had hoped, I had to instead go visit a doctor and go to the pharmacy... and hobble around everywhere I went. :(

Oh well. I am used to things not quite going to plan. The good news is that it was absolutely amazing to escape my normal life and just enjoy a few days to myself!!!! Of course I LOVE my kids, my family, my life... but jeepers, to just be ME for a few days is so awesome, and I definitely have to do it again!

As usual I was running myself into the ground in my normal life... I don't quite know why I am such a 'high-achiever' - or more so: so HARD on myself... and although I seem to be aware of my faults, I find it really hard to change my habits. Leading up to this trip I was quite utterly shattered.. I have been having trouble sleeping for months - existing predominantly on a bout 3-4 hours of broken sleep per night, and somehow just functioning on pure adrenalin I reckon. I went to the doctor again to get bloods taken as I was sure that there was something not right with me, and it turns out that my iron levels have plummeted and I am very anaemic again (almost another 20 year reunion of that!... it's actually 21 years since I was severely ill with anaemia the first time).

So despite all my ailments - I caught up with lots of my friends, stayed with different ones each night - and enjoyed a night in a hotel on my own for the reunion night. I got to sleep in, pamper myself a bit, get dressed up - and have a rare night out.. I though it would be fun, and actually the night did quite exceed my expectations!!

It was a busy, loud and full-on evening - such a blast from the past, so many people to talk to... and it was just plain strange to be out on a rare night out and surrounded with everyone from high-school.

Here's a few pics of me from the night:

with Michael Liddell - who used to go on my school-bus with me...

with Tom Saunders - yeah, don't really need a reunion to catch up seeing though he's now my brother-in-law!

with Marisa who flew out from America for the reunion - yay!!

with Sarah, Isa and Travis...

and finally with Sarah! mwah!!

Even though I came home utterly exhausted, the trip away was the best thing for me. It was exactly what I needed to step out of my normal life and routines and be able to have time to think, sleep a bit more, and return with a new perspective.

I will be starting on fortnightly iron injections this week, and I am currently taking sleeping tablets each night - just so that i can friggin get some much needed sleep.

I think I have changed... I know I just have to do less. Being a mum is just so full-on and I was just trying to do way too much. I've been pushing my business too hard - in the hope that I can earn money quicker and either protect me and my family form the worst-case scenario of Ben having a bad MS attack and being unable to work... or hopefully be able to 'liberate' him from having to work in a job that he is not completely happy with... but meanwhile, i have just been running myself into the ground which is not good for anybody.

I can see all the positives. I can believe in myself and my business and my ideas and my plans.. I can just choose to adjust the pace: live life more at a 'leisurely stroll' pace rather than running like a lunatic in a mad panic.

Yep. I feel a LOT happier.. let's hope I can stick with my newest realizations... and continue forward as a much more sane mummy... xo