Dollars and no sense?

 

The recent Qantas turmoil has got me thinking... and at a 'simple' level I can understand both sides of the problem... Yes the unions and the workers have every good reason to be striking... but on the other hand: if the company is unable to remain price-competitive with other airlines then Qantas may not be able to survive as a successful company in the long run... Of course this issue is complex and I won't pretend to know too much about what is going on - but from what I saw on the news last night I am imagining that the future of Qantas is rather stuffed!

But really - aren't CONSUMERS part of the ones to BLAME!!!!????

Sure, we can sit at home and tut-tut Qantas execs for their behaviour - we can be aghast at the thought of Australian employees being underpaid and undervalued - and for an Australian company to want to move the enigineering repairs overseas! - Goodness! -think about the different engineering STANDARDS that may exist (or not exist) in these countries... (my husband is an aero-engineer and what he tells me is pretty-darn scary!)

I just want to remind everyone that AS CONSUMERS WE HAVE SO MUCH POWER AND SAY over world economics and issues - but probably most of us don't really stop to think about it. We don't think that each and every one of us is contributing to these issues by what we choose to buy or not buy.

And I think it is something we SHOULD think about a lot more...

Be honest. What are YOUR consumer standards?? Would you choose to fly on Qantas if their ticket prices were so much dearer than all other airline tickets? Would you be happy to pay MORE knowing that it is an Australian company and that staff are being paid fairly... Yes, it's a good reason to turn AGAINST them - for the current industrial action... but are we as consumers really there for them? - are we being supportive of any Australian company that is doing the 'right' thing and paying more for local labour and goods??

I TRY to have good consumer ethics... I get annoyed at all the 'cheap' foreign goods that are constantly being manufactured and brought into our country... I want to buy locally made and produced goods (especially FOOD), I want to buy LESS of things and not be so wasteful - and buy things that really aren't needed... I do dream of a more 'traditional' lifestyle of hand-made items and local trade - and I believe that I am trying to promote those values through my business and through my own creative actions..

But let's be honest: my actions often fall far short of my own values and standards. At times when it is convenient for me I'll buy the cheap made in China goods... (for example I've recently bought some unnecessary 'junk' for Halloween) - I was planning to make some 'bat' wings for my son... but I ran out of time, and black lycra was really expensive at Spotlight... and at a bargain shop we found a great looking cape made in China for just $3.50 - so I didn't bother to make my own. (Excuses, excuses, excuses!)

One area that I am particularly pedantic about trying to buy Australian made is FOOD. Mainly because I am concerned about the poor hygiene standards that can exist in third would countries. I'm sure it takes me a lot longer at the supermarket to check all the labels of where things are made. And you have to look! Even brands that you think you know and trust often are made in a third world country or from 'local and imported' goods. 

Did you buy any lollies for Halloween?? Did you look to see where they were made?? (Most lollies are manufactured in China)

Let's face it. All companies and manufacturers are having to look towards outsourcing labour or goods to overseas because they are CHEAPER and there is no other way to keep costs down to the level that MASS-CONSUMERS are wanting to spend.

YOU, ME and everyone around us are consumers and when enough of us behave in the same way then we have MASS-CONSUMER power!

I bet you're all aware that Christmas is coming... Have you started your shopping yet?? Have you got a budget set?? Are you planning to hand-make any (or ALL!?) of your gifts?? Or are you just going to go with the flow and BUY lots of perhaps unneccessary items - just to be part of the Christmas-gift-giving-mass-consumer-frenzy??? 

Do your kids really want lots of made in China plastic things?? And if you think they do - is the real reason just because you don't want them to miss out on having what all their friends will have??

I just want everyone to THINK. To start to think, perhaps... or to think again - and try a little harder.

Think about your kids. What sort of world do you want for them?? How do you want them to grow up in this consumerist society?? What sort of JOBS do you want to be available for them in the future??? If we continue to buy cheaper products from overseas - then we're not really investing in their future are we?? 

I know I have room to improve... and I know what I value... I am going to try a lot harder. And perhaps if everyone did, all these problems with Qantas (and so many other companies) wouldn't exist... perhaps even our government would see what people want and stand up and save jobs and industries for the future good of our country.

(Sorry to have a long rant... but I really needed to!)

Dramas behind the scenes at A Little Creative...

oh, so where do I start??

This past year has been quite a roller-coaster for me... I was a woman with an idea and a mission and a lot of determination...

And, yes, VERY little time too as I have a 3 year-old and a 1 year-old... and not to mention no start-up capital for my new business venture! It has felt like climbing Mount Everest for me... many months I have pushed myself quite to the limit - and I have watched dejectedly as I have seen the casualties off to the wayside of my single-minded determined focus... (i.e. the housework and communications with family and friends and sending gifts, acknowledging events etc. have been greatly neglected...) I have kept justifying it to myself... realising that I can't do EVERYTHING - and thinking that a better balance will be just around the corner..

So many times I have felt like giving up... So many tears, so many doubts - a lot of confusion.

Many real 'problems' and 'set-backs' have been encountered and overcome during the past few months... and very frequently I have had to re-evaluate my direction... all SO confusing!

One of the biggest 'problem' areas has been my studio... The small house at the front of our property has had 'opportunity' and 'potential' written all over it... In my mind to be able to use it as MY art studio has been such a dream come true: like being given the keys to a Lamborghini that is parked in your driveway (if you are a car-buff, unlike me).

But imagine if you really couldn't afford to keep that Lamborghini... or you had no spare-time to even drive it, or spare money to put fuel in it... And every time you tried to use it with your gorgeous little kids - they just ended up making a HUGE mess of the inside!... Hmmm..Yes.. A dream perhaps, but not a very functional reality...

So I've come to realise a lot.. I've learnt a LOT of difficult lessons...

I can see that although my ideas are great... the work and effort I've been putting in is highly commendable... The hard reality is that it is just not the right timing for me to be able to DO most of the things that I am dreaming about and desiring... (and could do if I didn't have such young kids!)

I have to be a bit more patient. Slow down. Move at a snail's pace, and take time to enjoy my beautiful young children - and look after myself more, and also indulge in MY OWN ART - without it having to have a business/financial pay off...

Sadly I have to let go of my studio. We are going to lease it out... (which was the original plan when we built our new house, and before I got my 'A Little Creative - business-goggles' on.

I can still do all I was aiming at. I can do small classes from my own home, and larger ones at nearby centres... I can focus on doing school-incursions in the future... and doing a lot of stuff (selling art and materials etc.) just online - on my new fabulous website! ( http://www.alittlecreative.net.au/ ) I am always one whose mind is overflowing with ideas...

But gee, it's been hard for me to let go of the studio... As I start to move all my stuff out - I can at least dream about hopefully setting it back-up again as my studio in a few years' time... I believe in all that I've been doing and know 'A Little Creative' has a bright future ahead.. all my hard work has been setting-up some very good foundations and sorting out the wheat from the chaff in my mind...

As I've commenced moving out of the studio - the latest 'drama' has hit my family with my husband's current work situation... More decisions and changes for us to overcome... but we will get through all the hard stuff I am sure :)

What makes a good mummy? (Or what makes this mummy happy?)

So what makes a good mummy?

How do I dare to even ask that question!? Such a controversial one... I'm not 'fishing for compliments' either... but it is something I am thinking about today... Wondering how I define it...

I think I am a good mummy. I think my kids are awesome and I am doing everything in my power to provide the best for them and be the best for them that I can.... - or am I?..

Don't get me wrong.. I know I'm doing a great job (and what a bloody hard job it is!!) - but after a few days of feeling down... I am wondering if I am perhaps just looking at things slightly wrong.. If I am being limited by my pre-conceived (and perhaps quite unrealistic) ideas about what a good mother "should" do...

I have always struggled with motherhood - right from day one (hence the reason for this blog)... I think physically and externally all that I have done to fulfill my parenting responsibilities has been fine: definately meets the 'criteria' if there is one - and often goes above and beyond, perhaps?... But mentally I have always struggled. I am often not happy - though I try really, really hard to be. I try so hard to find the right 'balance' - to make myself happy -plus also meet my own expectations of myself as a mother... usually somewhere along the line I get burned out and realise that I am not in balance.. I have been doing too much and wearing myself out. So I try to take things a bit slower, I back off, lower my expectations of myself, try to face each day  more simply... perhaps draw up yet another ideal 'schedule' or plan for myself... and before long I have repeated the same 'mistakes' again.

 (This diagram makes me think that I am just complicating everything and not seeing properly what I want - instead get side-tracked...)

I want to work. I have been saying for over three years now that "I am NOT cut out to be a full-time stay at home mum"... But also in my mind (due to my own morals and values?) I refuse to put my children into too much child-care... Two days each a week I can psychologically handle and accept as being okay.. My daughter was in care for 3 days for a term this year when she started 2 days at kindy (not full-days, mind you) - and I felt VERY guilty about that - as the third day tipped me over my 'acceptable threshold'...

Yes, I am critical of mums who put their children into full-time in care.. I don't want to that myself.

But for the first time I'm thinking: "what if?"...

What if I did put my 15 month old (who at this age is the most time-consuming and generally prevents me from doing pretty much everything I want to do and that is practical to do i.e cleaning the house, cooking etc.) into a bit more child-care? Would one or two more days of him in care make much of a difference to ME and how I felt about myself and my life if I could actually DO more of the things that I want to??

How could I ever accept that or live with myself?? - to be honest I don't think I could. I have my head firmly stuck in the 'numbers' of childcare hours/days... Somehow I've drawn an 'acceptable' line in my mind and I can't seem to change that.

Indeed I am a very stubborn person.

I'm just wondering about everything... I wish I could just stop.

A lot of things about my life do make me happy, and a lot of things don't.

I feel as though my life (and my happiness) should be simpler than it currently is... and that the only 'problem' is ME just getting things all a bit wrong somehow..

I know it is just ME and my perception...So many things like this I 'know' intellectually - but just struggle to translate into the reality of my own life. I am trying hard, that's all I know... even if I keep making the same or similar 'mistakes'...

understanding my motivation

More thoughts since my last entry... and a realisation of WHY it is so hard to let go of 'my dreams' of running my own business...

I have spent ages believing that the reasons I was doing all of this was because it was my passion... a desire to work and earn money, etc. etc. I thought it was MY goal for ME... but I realise now that there was more to it than that...

Just over two years ago my husband was diagnosed with MS. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that here... Probably I have, as obviously it has had a huge impact in our lives. So far so good, he is doing quite well health-wise since his two attacks in 2009 which had him in hospital and off work for a few months... but although we hope and pray for the best the reality is that at that the back of our minds we anticipate that Ben's health can deteriorate at any time.

Such intense emotions that my mind has tried to constantly push away.. to keep thinking positively, to always be pragmatic...

I grew up as a hard-working an independent woman. Self-sufficient, is what I always wanted to be. I didn't strive for mega-bucks career wise (heck! - I chose teaching as a profession!) instead I followed passions and interests and always believed that I could earn money for myself...

Becoming a mother changes your finances and independence as an income earner a lot. That's ok. My husband is an aerospace engineer - so his salary alone seemed sufficient to pay our mortgage and living expenses... and I desired to do a bit of work on the side and return to full-time employment perhaps when our children were older. But the bulk of the financial pressures and expectations were on Ben's shoulders as he had the greater income, and I would be the predominantly at-home parent.

Then he became sick. He didn't have any extra income protection insurance...

Yes he's still working full-time now.. though he does struggle with fatigue.. but...what will happen in the future..?

I realise now that my desire to start my own business was largely driven by my desire to have a financial back-up plan.. To try to prove that I CAN earn money - enough money eventually to replace Ben's entire income... And to try and earn it doing something that i want to do. My whole financial future dramatically changed when Ben got sick.

This realisation helps me to just understand myself and WHY I have been a bit like a dog with a bone and so unwilling to face reality that the timing just isn't right for me to be working so hard at my own business.

I can let go of the bone.. it is in mine and my family's best interests for now... And for the future?? Who knows...? But I know that I can and will do whatever it takes to look after my family financially and otherwise - because I have what it takes inside me!

Like a moth to a flame...

Oh, I've been doing it again... Going too hard at it..

(I just re-read my August entry: 'Something new to be proud of" - and that really said it all.. I realised it then that I was working too hard and trying to do too much and that I needed to slow down...

I realised it, and probably did it for a week or two.. then slipped back into my usual 'overloaded' habits.

Lucky for me my monthly-cycle likes to remind me with floods of tears if I am pushing myself too hard and ignoring some important issues...

I recently have had a 'new idea' crop up in my crazy never-seeming-to-be-switched-off-business-brain... And I have become quite excited as I have started to write about it and flesh out the idea... and head towards it in my mind... Yes. I do think it is a FAB idea -and a great direction to head in.. But I HAVE TO FACE REALITY. I have to take things slower. The ideas that I have are generally unachievable at this stage of my parenting life - with the very limited amount of time that I have.

Yes, I can see how I so often behave like a moth continuously attracted to the dangerous flame.. when I get 'burnt' I back-off, only to return so soon again.

I am making the decision to back-off now and keep a much safer distance for quite a while! The new idea is something that I can s-l-o-w-l-y develop and squirrel away at.. as much as part of me would love to run straight towards it at a break-neck (stupid and unsustainable) speed.

I am letting go of my studio space which is a HUGE disappointment for me.. but the only sensible decision to relieve the pressure from myself of having to earn money from my business.

I have to face the fact that 'my business' is going to have to operate at a VERY low-key level... like a 'hobby' really.

It makes me feel sad when I have just launched my website - and the potential to push things seems to be greater and greater.. But I am still me. A mum to a three year old and a one year old who are SO time consuming and deserve my focus and attention more than anything else... And ME! - I deserve some time too! I deserve to have the occasional day when the kids are in care and I can decide to do or not do whatever I want to. The way I have been going there has been no space or time at all for me. Just 'to do' lists and priorities and endless things that I feel behind on.

Stuff it all! This stupid moth is going to back off and stop flying in the direction of that light... I'm going to try to enjoy life right where I am - in mummy land where my main priorities are to cook dinner, wash clothes, clean-up a bit and look after myself and my family. I'm not going to think of those chores with contempt.. I'm not going to think that the light (that I wanted) is the golden-source of happiness and wealth (ha!) No. It's false right now. It is something that I can't have yet, and it is damaging me trying to constantly head towards it.

October already!?

It's been a while since I've written.. and fortunately I've gotten through a lot of my feelings that was I am trying to do is all too much and too hard...
It is bloody hard - and I have lots of ups and downs.. but I realise that things are actually working out extremely well in the directions that I am heading - and I just have to keep going!!!

The Qld school holidays have just finished and I was very busy on them running some children's holiday classes. It was quite a shock to the system really - and I got quite worn out and suffered a lot from lack of time (as usual) - as I never had enough time to prepare for the classes in the way that I wanted to... but that's how it always is I guess. I had lots of bookings and met some awesome kids who all thoroughly enjoyed themselves!! - So good! I'm so proud of myself. And I get such a high out of doing the classes too :)

This week my term classes start - the first one is running tomorrow - and looks like I may start it with seven in the class which is AMAZING!! My goal is to build up to having 2 after-school classes running (and possibly a third), and do the occasional weekend workshop for adults - plus focus on my own art too.. And yep, it seems I am well on the way to achieving that!

This morning I was in the studio on my own doing some t-shirt prints.. and organising the space too.  And at times I couldn't wipe the grin off my face - and would almost have to pinch myself as it just is SO much fun to be in there doing my own designs and having fun!

Hee hee!! I'm a happy girl!! A new idea is in the background too... it is slowly developing, but looks like a good and positive future for A Little Creative :-)

(My own computer has died.. but I will soon get another and aim to be more regular with my blogging - and uploading pics too!)